Wednesday, March 21, 2012

TANGLED UP IN BLUE

Fo' Drizzle.  yes. i just wrote that.
Hey numbnuts. I have been neglecting Toe Pick lately and the guilt that's resulted from this has been hovering over me like an omnipresent, grey cloud.  Or maybe that's just the shitty weather we've been having lately.  Last week it seemed like every morning I walked out of my house I was confronted with a torrential downpour.  I hate the rain - I become flustered, disoriented and hurried in it and this is partly because my hair turns into one big, awkward jheri curl. (who knew that's how you spell "jheri curl"? I didn't) Having said this, it was nothing shart of a DISASTER when I realized last Monday morning as the rain came down that I had lost my hair brush.  I searched far and wide but The Fro Tamer was nowhere to be found. That's right folks, lost brushes are my new lost debit cards and keys.  I've never denied my inability to keep up with my belongings or to follow through with promises I've made (ahem, the bachelor entries, OK! Cupid dates, etc) but I have finally decided to do something about it.  I went without a brush and a blow dryer for 4 full days last week and I have resolved to never put coworkers, friends or boys through such torture again.  Although, I did have the chance to experiment with other brush options and I thought it would be nice if I shared them with you so you're prepared should you ever be caught in the same predicament.  
Using your hand as a brush does. not. work.
Fingers are not effective.
That's what she said.

L to R - A BROKEN CLIP with 3 prongs is not sturdy enough to combat even the slightest of cowlicks.
A FORK: a fork as a brush is more effective than you might think.  It's durable and works as a decent detangler.
A TATTERED MIRROR BRUSH from the 90's (borrowed from roommate): this bad boy was hanging from a thread last week.  It has since entered retirement.
MY NEW BRUSH IS AT THE END. Hi.

a FORK BRUSH aka a FORUSH

I've gone through 3 brushes in the past four weeks and I am convinced they are all on an island somewhere along with my debit cards, cell phones, keys and licenses.  "Maybe you ought to get a leash for your brush," my friend Sarah suggested earlier on the phone today as I made my way to Walgreen's to fetch my new fro tamer.  "A brush leash!? That's absurd!" I responded. "Do you know how weird I would look walking a brush?"  Secretly I was intrigued. <Maybe that's not such a bad idea, Sarah.>

I WILL MISPLACE YOU ALL .
each and every one of ya.
RATS NEST (taken mid of last week)
I am happy to report that I have found something of a solution to my problem.  Have a look:

KEYS AS A BRUSH LEASH. Now if I could only loop my debit card and cell phone into this concoction...
Moving on. Now I realize I owe you all an explanation re: my remaining bachelors.  Here is a checklist of reasons why I have not wrapped up this series.  Don't shart with me.

  • One bachelor dropped out because he didn't want his ex-girlfriend to be upset.  (which is sweet and respectful.)
  • One recently moved from San Francisco so I can't very well feature him as a hot SF bachelor even though he is the greatest and smells terrific.
  • One is missing a biography.
  • 1 has not gotten his shite together (Ryan) and sent me his info.
  • I only recently found a new bachelor to replace one of the dropouts and I am in the process of getting his scoop.    

So there you have it.

Oh, and I saw Brian Wilson's doppelganger on the muni today.
Also, I got a new Toe Pick journal today which will help me to post more frequently.  Isn't she a beaut?

I'll be back next week with a couple of my remaining bachelors.
Promise.

xo, Nige

PS.  I thought you'd like to know my initial title for this post was "I Can Feel it Coming in the Hair Tonight."  I needed something that rhymed with hair and this is the first thing that entered my mind. Nixed for obvious reasons.

PMS. Oh. Hi Ben F and Egg Rolls.


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